We all agree that communication is among the most important business and life skills.
The quality of your communication drives the quality of your results and the quality of your relationships.
How you influence, delegate & motivate is all dependent on how good you are at this vital skill.
That’s ironic given how little time we spend learning about how to develop our communication skills
“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.” – George Bernard Shaw
In business, managers spend 70-90 % of their day communicating.
Your effectiveness as a leader depends on your communication effectiveness
Key #1 – Become Aware Of How You Interpret Your World
“We don’t see the world as it is, we see it as we are!”
Think about this… To the human mind, there are two worlds:
External world – of objects and events, and
Internal world – of thoughts, feelings & beliefs
How we interact with people and events outside of us is a reflection of how we relate to ourselves and others in our minds.
The happiest and most successful people have congruence between their beliefs and thoughts internally and the objects and events externally,
Having negative beliefs and thoughts about someone will most likely negatively affect my relationship with them and the outcome of our interactions
Key #2 – Becoming Aware Of How You Deliver The Message.
Let me tell you about a situation that happened with me recently…
I recently conducted a series of interviews for a technical role. The 3 short-listed consultants were equally qualified, however…
During the interview, one of them did not establish eye contact and stared out the window.
Another turned up in an un-ironed suite and was a little sarcastic in his responses to interview questions.
How do you think they went?
The third – the one who got the job – presented himself well, spoke with confidence and was courteous.
This is a good example of how the outcome of a situation is influenced by the way you conduct yourself and deliver the message.
Those candidates said all the right things, but their body language and one case, the way he spoke, meant they didn’t get the job they wanted.
Key #3 – Becoming Aware Of Quality Of Your Conversation
Every organization has objectives and results to achieve. The output of an organization depends on the ability of its people to work together to achieve these results. We work together by building relationships through our conversations.
Practicing effective conversation builds cooperation and enables effective performance and therefore effective results.
When people become aware of, and build their effectiveness in conversation:
Dialogue flows, relationships strengthen and people collaborate.
There is no reluctance to raising difference and conflict.
Misunderstandings and conflict are reduced and resolved quickly and easily.
Ideas, thoughts, feelings, concerns, needs and desires are expressed openly, honestly and directly
Productive and harmonious cultures develop.
Seek to understand first, be fully present
Skills: Listening, speaking
Mindset required: curious, open-minded, non-judgemental
Tips to improve your communication:
Develop awareness and acknowledge the mistake (at least to yourself)
Be present and pay special attention – giving someone your time and presence is the biggest gift
To show interest: Lean in, maintaining eye contact, nod your head
All this provides non-verbal feedback to the other person and
That helps you connect better with them.
Your challenge for the week:
Pay special attention to your tone and body language
Are you coming across as genuinely interested?
Are you typing on the keyboard or using your phone while talking to others?
Are you rolling your eyes or sighing or crossing your arms?
If you are, then most likely you’re not connecting well and communication will most like break down.